American Open 2012

View from the hotel room

It's been more than a week since I traveled to Palm Springs for the American Open 2012. The weekend started off with a 3a.m. alarm clock to pick up a fellow lifter and catch a 6a.m. flight with a brief, like 5-minute, layover in Denver.  The flight from Denver to Palm Springs was about 50% weightlifters and 50% old people.  I'd say at least half of the lifters from the OTC were on that flight.  Not a bad crew to share a flight and a shuttle with!

View on our walk to our third breakfast of day one

The hotel and the venue...yeah pretty damn awesome.  Great rooms, gorgeous views.  Although I swear the hotel hallways were lifted straight out of The Shining for as never-ending as they were and I half expected a little boy to zip by riding his tricycle whispering "redrum redrum."  The convention center was connected to the hotel by more and more hallways and based on that you'd think the venue would be easy to find.  Well let's just say it took three of us about 20 minutes to find it only to be sent back to the hotel for the check-scale.  Haha!  Thursday was mostly about hanging by the pool, waiting for others to get in, and eating.  Palm Springs has some damn good places to eat and the people watching was pretty phenomenal.

Beautiful pool to waste away an afternoon

Friday, day one, saw a pretty busy day. There were so many lifters entered that Friday was a two-platform format with all the B sessions running and often in a combined classes format.  For three of the four lifters that lifted on Friday it was their first appearance on the national level.  Two of our girls competed in the 58kg class and finished 19th & 26th out of 36 lifters, which I actually think was the largest of all the weight classes this year.  I'm very proud of how well they did and I believe they were also able to qualify for Nationals.

Yummmmmy breakfast at Pinnochio's

On the men's side of things I had two guys in the 85kg class going.  The warm up room was a madhouse and I'm absolutely certain there were not enough sets of weights in there, which lead to a whole lot of "borrowing" and a bit of tension between coaches getting their lifters warm.  For one of of my guys it was his first time on the national stage and needless to say he was a bit excited. The other guy was making his second appearance and looking for a little redemption from his first time at the American Open last year.  Both wonderfully and unfortunately we had completely opposite ends of the performance spectrum.  The first-timer unfortunately wasn't able to lock in a clean & jerk and it always breaks my heart to have someone not get a total.  That now makes two lifters I've coached bomb out at the American Open, not a good track record so far.

3 Thumbs Up for Fajitas!

My other 85kg lifter was making his second appearance at the American Open.  Last year he was lifting in the 77kg class and unfortunately his debut didn't end up well.  This year we came back with a vengeance.  After much coaxing he finally moved up the 85kg class and has enjoyed every single part about adding body weight including hitting bigger and bigger lifts.  Not only did he get a total this year but he got a PR clean & jerk AND added 7kg to his best total ever.  He managed to nudge a teammate that lifted in a different session on Saturday who also totaled 280kg out of the 10th place spot based on a difference in body weight of 0.15kg.  Out of 23 lifters we had 2 guys place in the top half of the class.  I call that a great win!

Day two of lifting saw my teammate Gina making her return to the national stage.  While I know if you ask her she's not 100% happy with her performance.  However, I would like to point out that she took home the SILVER medal in the 48kg class.  For those of you that aren't versed in kilograms Gina weighs under 105lbs and between the two lifts throws a total of 268lbs (122kg) over her head. 

Sunday, day 3, final day of competition.  Again one of my teammates took home some hardware.  My teammate Shane crushed the competition taking home the gold in what turned out to be a very slim 105+ kg class with at least two of the top supers not attending this meet.  I also know he was not 100% satisfied with his performance and was disappointed to get red-lighted on his final lift.  However, I think that's the nature of the beast for lifters, we're never satisfied and always want the next level.

By now if you've made it this far and if you're a regular reader of this blog you're probably wondering where I fit into all of this, after all I did commence Operation 180 back in October.  Well to put it simply I had to withdraw from the competition all together.  Starting in about September my performance started to decline.  I attributed much of it to a perfect storm of stress.  My work load increased dramatically, I was still working 4 jobs, and personal stresses all seemed likely culprits especially when added together.  Being the big stubborn ass that I tend to be I continued to push and push and push.  Eventually my body said stop so I took 10 straight days off and stupidly did nothing, not a single athletic movement, not even foam rolling or stretching.  Coming back I thought the "rest" would be enough.  Turns out I should think a little less and listen to my body a little more.  Practice what I preach in essence.  I started experiencing a tight feeling in my low back which I attributed to extremely tight hips, both hip flexors and hip rotators.  It was really more just an annoyance and a slight discomfort than pain.  As time rolled on it started to effect my ability to perform.  I wasn't able to squat much and since lifting involves getting into full ass to grass squats you can see how this can be a detriment to performance.  I could make it through a session of snatching but I could only get in one or two clean & jerks before I had to pull the plug on that training session.  It was still only discomfort and not actual pain.  Over about 5 weeks leading up the competition I had one chiropractic session, two ART sessions, and three 90-minute deep tissue massages. 

Fast forward to competition week.  I knew going into the week there was a possibility I wouldn't be able to compete over the weekend.  On Monday I wanted to hit near my openers just to prove to myself that I could overcome and get it done.  I made it to 60kg on a snatch before my body started working against me so I shut it down.  I decided not to lift again until I got to Palm Springs.  On Friday I started what would be my last training session before competition and I wanted to summon some "old man strength," as my friend refers to it.  Snatches felt okay, snatched up to 50kg for a single.  Decided I would move on to clean & jerks since I hadn't touched those in about a week.  I did 40kg for a couple singles and then jumped to 60kg, a normal jump for me.  I got it to knee level, my body screamed NO so I dropped it.  That was the final straw for my body and I knew I wouldn't even be able to gut it out.  In tears I found my way to my coach to let him know there was no way I would be able to compete.

It was a heart breaking moment having to withdraw from the competition.  Seriously the hurt in my heart actually far exceeded the physical pain.  I've had the most phenomenal year of training adding almost 10kg to each of the two competition lifts and I really felt like I managed to piss it straight down my leg. I've never had to withdraw from a competition because of a physical inability to perform.  I had extremely high hopes and huge goals for this meet.  To many it may seem trivial, completely unimportant, an injury setback but I set high expectations for myself.  I love this sport and all I want to do is lift but I can't right now. 

Since the meet I've seen two different doctors.  One thinks it's a disc problem and I need to get an MRI to be certain.  The other one thinks it's a facet issue and I just need to let it rest and do some rehab to see how it responds.  At the moment I've lifted a grand total of twice since that Friday in Palm Springs.  I won't be doing any lifts from the floor, no lifts into a full squat, and no bilateral squatting for at least 2-3 weeks.   All of my lifting will be from blocks, overhead work, and split squats, all of which my body tolerates well.  I'm also speaking with my physical therapy friends and getting rehab from them.  We'll see how my body responds to my game plan.  It still hurts a little bit when I do something dumb but for the most part its just discomfort and a tight feeling in my low back, sacrum area, and occasionally my glutes feel really fired up and tight. 

I can't say I'm not frustrated but this is a good opportunity to peel everything back to the very basics as well as a great opportunity to re-work my jerk which is something I've been wanting to do lately.  The hopes are to be ready to start getting back to business by January and ready to start tossing up some real weight by the time the Arnolds roll around in March.  Long term goals would include making a huge statement at Nationals in July.  For right now though I have to start slow again and build myself back up both physically and mentally.  If other lifters can comeback from injury, big or small, then so can I.  If I find myself slipping and needing a little motivation then I can just watch this video.....

Overall the American Open was an interesting learning experience.  Humbling to say the least.  I still had a great time, talked to old friends, met some new friends, and had a great time coaching and supporting my teammates.  The whole experience really just leaves me very hungry to get my body right and get back on that platform.  2013 might just be the Year of the Beastess!

A little friendly inspiration

I have to admit that I have some incredibly awesome, super supportive friends, family, teammates, lifters, coaches, co-workers.  They suffer with my highs and lows.  They don't judge when I grunt and growl when lifting.  Or when I scream and cry and have a hissy fit cause I'm having a rough lifting session.  They are hands-down just phenomenal people.

I've been waging an internal battle with how well I think I can perform at the American Open in a couple of weeks.  It's been some great training and some shit training over the past year.  That being said some friends have offered some well-timed and much needed inspiration.

"You worked too hard to just lose before the meet even starts.  It might not have all been perfect but you lift because you love it and you know you can hit 180.  You will do that if the 9 inches between your ears believes it.  You have the strength physically for sure."

"Google 'Donny Shankle: The Iron.'  Careful, you may become mega inspired."  So I googled it.... Donny Shankle: The Iron  and was beyond floored.  It sums up everything I've ever really felt, especially this past year. 

So to my friends, family, teammates, lifters, coaches, co-workers, and anyone else who has had an impact on my life....thank you for the inspiration. 

Coaching, Teaching, Competing: It's all a Passion

In case you haven't read any of my previous post and if you aren't someone that knows me personally, I am obsessed with weightlifting and teaching people how to lift weights.  I suppose it was pretty prophetic when I began lifting weights at the age of 16 and thought it was cool and impressive trying to leg press the entire stack.  Maybe it was where I grew up or the fact that I grew up a bit of a tomboy but it never ever occurred to me that lifting weights, let alone lifting HEAVY weights, would be considered atypical for a girl.  It never crossed my mind that I might get "bulky" or "huge" from lifting.  To me I wanted to get strong, I wanted to be stronger than all the boys, and the only logical way to do that was to lift heavier weights. 

Well over a decade after I first stepped into the weight room, I now step into one of the following three "offices" any given day of the week.....

 

Now my days....and nights....and weekends revolve around teaching others about lifting weights and the actual sport of weightlifting.  It's a passion, plain and simple.  Coaching, teaching, competing. 

As evidenced by many of my posts I love competing.  I have always been a competitor.  However I get just as excited coaching.  Seeing the look on someone's face who has never performed the Olympic lifts before and that moment when all the technique work finally clicks is pretty priceless.  I love screaming my face off as one of my advanced guys goes for a big weight.  If one of my guys bombs out, my heart breaks along with them.  I like being the voice of reason to bring someone back from the edge and help them refocus on the task at hand.  The motivator, the drill instructor, the shoulder to lean on, the frustrater, the high fiver, the good bad and ugly, all in one. 

Coaching people in weightlifting and to lift weights in general is just as much of a beast as competing.  Convincing an 18-year-old female soccer player that lifting weights will only improve their performance is just as challenging as convincing a 25-year-old male that there is a rhyme and reason to why I've given him specific exercises to work on instead of just maxing out all the time.  It's not a simple, cut and dried profession where I get to say lift weights and then be done with it.  I worry about how to best approach improving performance, what to do when an athlete or lifter has stagnated, how to prevent and avoid injuries, what to do when there is an injury, how to best balance their workouts to get the most from them, how to approach the individual that's struggling mentally or emotionally.  I think about all of that almost constantly.  No two athletes or lifters are exactly alike and I will never treat them as such.  I want to know what everyone's best of the bests and worst of the worsts are.  Celebrate when they do well and pick them back up when they've fallen. 

I treat coaching as an opportunity to educate people.  If nothing else when they leave school or when they move on from lifting, I hope they have learned a few things from working with me.  Whether it's how to properly execute a power clean or that they're stronger mentally and physically than they've ever given themselves credit for, it's an opportunity to learn something.  If they have learned that the only limits they truly have are the ones they have placed upon themselves then I have done my job successfully.  Coaching, teaching, and competing; it's all a passion.  One I am fortunate enough to live every day. 

Wish in one hand....

There is a defining line between those who wish and those who do.  As the saying goes, “Wish in one hand and crap in the other.  See which fills up faster.”  People wish they had a better job or wish they could travel to exotic places.  People wish they had more time to work out.  Perhaps some of those are empty wishes, something to pass the time and make life seem a bit less dull.

Yes, I’ve been a wisher in my life, we all have.  I’ve wished I could be a better photographer or wished I could learn to dance.  What it boils down to is those things that are truly important to you, you will find a way to make them happen.  If I really wanted to be a better photographer, I’d study it.  If I wanted to be a ballroom dancer, I’d take a class.  If I really wanted it, I’d find a way to make it happen.  These guys found a way to make it happen:  All Things Gym - Makeshift Platform

When it comes to lifting weights and getting my training in, I’ve definitely found a way to make it happen.  I’ve gone so far to make it happen that my entire life revolves around lifting and training.  My full time job allows me to pass along my passion for lifting through athletes in the weight room.  Working in a weight room also obviously allows me to fit my training in during the day.  My two side jobs also allow me to pass along my passion as well as alternative places to train should I find the need to train elsewhere.

In order to make big lifts happen there are many things I’ll pass up doing so I can have a good training session instead.  I’ll opt for a night of foam rolling, stretching and ice bath instead of a night of shenanigans and debauchery.  It’s not that I’ll never go out and do those things.  It’s just that some days I want to shift into beastess-mode and I generally prefer to do that with a head that’s not in hangover-mode.  I will do the things I need to do and adjust my life accordingly to make it happen.

Obviously I've occasionally taken lifting to an obsessive compulsive level.  I've gotten so wrapped up in weightlifting that I often times forget to do other things, fun things, things that don't involve picking up something heavy and putting it back down.  We all have to let loose once in awhile but for me this is a passion.  People have said that if you're passionate about your job, you'll never work a day in your life.  I disagree.  I've worked my ass off to get here, to get the job that I love going to and that I'm passionate about.  I'm not just sitting in some cubicle wishing I could have an awesome job.  

I have found that “wishers” don’t often understand “do-ers.”  They don’t understand the desire to take things to the next level and the commitment it requires.  To me, wishing you could do things in life instead of going out and actually attempting to do them is to resign yourself to mundane mediocrity.  Sure I might wish to immediately improve one aspect of a particular lift but what I do is set myself up to improve it over the long term.

Are you doing what it takes to make it to the next level?  Or are you just wishing in one hand…..

Justified - Needs vs Wants

I'm a needs versus wants kinda person.  Do I really NEED something or do I just WANT something?  It's how I was raised and actually a pretty conservative way to live.  Unless of course you take it to the extreme.  Now I'm not talking get my own special on TLC kind of extreme but I'll justify myself out of a lot things that I need.  I won't buy myself a new pair of jeans because I already own *gasp* two pairs: one nice and one not nice pair.  I haven't bought a good solid winter coat because I can just layer long sleeves and sweatshirts under my other coats.  Like I said, conservative way to live but not always the brightest.   

As you might've noticed from quite a few of my previous posts I've taken a bumpy ride on the Struggle Bus. *honk, honk*  Being a stubborn individual I have continuously talked myself out of getting the extra stuff that, at this point, I definitely NEED.  I've needed a deep tissue massage, active release therapy, chiropractic, any type of bodily intervention for awhile now.  I have kept justifying myself out of actually getting that work done by telling myself that I don't need it, I just want it, and I can address the same issues at home with foam roller/PVC/lacrosse ball, a nightly stretch out, and save a bit of money in the process.  That plan is all well and good except for one small bump.  By the time I get home at night and get a chance to do all of that, I actually just fall asleep on the floor.  Yep, a nightly 30-minute nap on the floor on or spooning a foam roller. 

I'm all for a little cuddle session but snuggling with a foam roller doesn't exactly keep my hips mobile.  By not being diligent and strict about my Recovery Routines, I have allowed myself to become so jacked up that my ability to squat at any given point is hit or miss.  I mean we're talking that some times it's uncomfortable to squat down just to tie my shoe, let alone actually load weight onto my body.  Not being able to squat is an enormous road block to Operation 180 that was supposed to start about 2 weeks ago.  Hard to get bigger and stronger if I can't do one of the key lifts to help with that.  Let's not even talk about my current ability to perform the Olympic lifts. 

After a very rough, very frustrating Saturday morning lift I was getting a little pep talk from a teammate.  I told him that I was more apt to justify helping him pay for a deep tissue massage than to actually get one for myself.  I would pay for someone else to get one before paying for myself.  He pointed out that with working as many jobs as I do I most certainly can't be hurting for money for the occasional deep tissue massage.  He also mentioned that I need to stop worrying about helping out someone else before I help myself.  I will write programs for everyone else before I worry about my own programming.  I will make sure my lifters are getting what they need before I consider myself.  I have a couple of 94s that I'm determined to get qualified for a national level meet, a 77 turned 85 that I want to have a better experience at the American Open this year, and a 58 that I want to have a good experience at her first national level meet.  I worry about them well before I worry about what my body, training, etc is going like.  I was instructed to stop always worrying about everyone else and justify a little time for myself. 

Well after learning the hard way, which is a common theme for me, I now have to classify active release therapy, chiropractic, and a deep tissue as a need.  If I don't re-categorize it as a need vs a want, I'm going to keep doing the same insane things time and again and like an idiot expect different results.  I want to take weightlifting as far as I possibly can.  I'm going to have to put on my big girl pants and realize that, as I have often preached to other, recovery is part of the process of getting better and periodic massages or chiropractic have to be a part of that recovery.  I can't keep justifying myself OUT of something I need especially if its something I can afford on occasion. 

If there is nothing else to be had from reading my posts, I hope there's at least an occasional cautionary tale in here to learn from.  Most of my recommendations to fellow lifters and athletes that I coach are because I have experienced it first hand and don't want them to have to learn the same lesson the hard way.  So the moral of the story today is don't justify yourself out of something because you think you don't deserve it.  Some times a want IS a need.  

For the Record

For the Record......

Being female and lifting weights doesn't make you butch or masculine.  It makes you strong.

Lifting doesn't make women bulky.  Females just don't have the right hormone levels to get huge bulk.  I'd rather be considered "bigger" because I lift weights and have muscle than bigger cause I have jiggly bits.

"I want Paris Hilton's ass," said no one EVER. 

When asked by some female athletes how they get long & lean like me, my answer was and will always be, "Pick up heavy shit."

Spot reduction is a myth.  Just because you spent 20 minutes on the inner/outer thigh machine doesn't mean your thighs will no longer touch.  It just means you're gonna walk like you rode horse to the gym.

Muscles burn calories.  Lifting weight makes muscles work harder.  You figure out the rest.....

You can't grow a muffin top without eating a few muffins.  And donuts and candy bars and drinking extra large caramel macchiatos....

I have never heard an athlete say, "Gee, I wish I hadn't gotten stronger."

CrossFit didn't invent the exercises it uses nor did it invent the concept of high intensity circuits.  It just marketed them better.

You shouldn't model your training after YouTube videos and expect to PR every training session.  Just remember nobody posts their shitty days on YouTube, not even Shankle. 

No listening to R&B in the weight room.  You might as well put on the Best of Elevator Music if you're going to do that.  If you wanna lift big kid weights, you need to put on big kid music. 

Got your own "For the Record" thoughts?  Post 'em to comments or send me a message!

*Update!  New "For the Record" thoughts!

Running does NOT take the place of squatting.  -Gina

Going past parallel when you squat will NOT "blow out" your knees, what does that even mean anyway?! -Gina

Please don't compare leg pressing to squatting, not even kind of the same thing.  -Gina

Operation 180

Operation 180 has been the mission for pretty much the entire year.  Initially Operation 180 was strictly a numbers based mission.  Snatch 80k, clean & jerk 100k, total 180k.  Pretty simple.  I've come very close to some of those aspects over the last year.  Cleaned 98k in training, clean & jerked 96k in training, and within the last couple of months just barely missed that 80k snatch at the DeGarmo Memorial (video on You win some, you lose some post).  My goal has been and continues to be hitting that 180 total by the American Open this December. 

However, as it often does, life got in the way.  Things happened, things changed, life shifted. Operation 180 just got more complicated.  Now not only is it a numbers mission but it's a mission to change physically, mentally, and emotionally about 180-degrees from what I've become lately. 

Obviously one of the main components is physical change.  The past few weeks my training has been complete and utter shit so I took 10 full days off from training.  In terms of strength, speed, and just lifting stamina I feel very behind.  I'm feeling rather weak and scrawny which are feelings I'm not particularly fond of.  Now I have to gain back some body weight, gain back a lot of strength, get back to pushing for the numbers I made as goals earlier this year (WTF was I doing for the last 7 years?!?!).  I have around 7 weeks to really bust my ass, get my ass larger, and get my ass in gear!

While getting my ass in gear is important, it's just as important to get my mind right.  I can think and hope and wish and pray that I hit 180 but my mind and emotion have to be behind it.  As I mentioned my training has been completely crap and honestly my mental attitude (also my stubbornness) and my emotional attitude towards lifting has been just as much to blame as a decrease in physical performance.  I let myself get burned out on weightlifting.  I allowed myself to become so consumed by it that it took over my entire life.  It was, and still is, a bit obsessive.  Being that overtaken by one thing is not a super healthy way to live in my opinion.  Because of the obsessive nature of the beast I was fretting over every aspect of my lifting including my declining strength.  Being the stubborn ass that I am I kept pushing and pushing and pushing trying to force the lifting which lead me to the next aspect I need to get right......

Emotionally I've been all over the board lately.  It's a multi-faceted issue: frustration with my declining performance, a huge inspiration leaving, unexpected setbacks, exhaustion from working so much (I currently technically have 3-4 separate jobs, don't ask, I'm crazy).  Many if not all of my recent workouts have ended up in tears.  Some times I am able to lift through the tears and do well and other times it's just sitting down on the platform and having a good cry.  There has been punting of foam rollers and water bottles, throwing of straps, wraps, and belts.  Then of course a hefty amount of swearing and even more frustration since I'm not the type for expressing emotion, let alone in public.  To some it may seem like a bit of a temper tantrum, repeated temper tantrums, but truly it runs deeper than that.  If you're not emotional about weightlifting then you're not really invested in it yet.  And I've gone all-in on weightlifting.

Now with all of that in mind I have to get my emotions under control so they don't railroad my workouts straight into the shitter.  If I'm bursting into tears because I can't jerk to save my life that's not going to help.  I need to dial back in and refocus that energy into something productive.  Get the mind and emotions right so I can put them both into a strong, solid lift.

The next few weeks leading into the American Open are 100% about re-assessing my goals.  I have to take my physical, mental, and emotional performances and turn them 180-degrees from what they have been recently.  I've wanted to hit the 80k and 100k all year long but I've also wanted to hit some big squats and big deadlifts.  Getting stronger there will be steps in the right direction.  I have to take where I am (weak and scrawny) and figure out how to get where I want to be (strong like beastess).  It's going to be some some big gains in what I feel is a short time.  Am I up for the challenge?  You're damn right I am!

Operation 180.  Turning my training around 180-degrees, hitting 180k at the American Open.  It's time to Go Beastess!

My Refuge

I am awful at processing emotion.  Or maybe I don't know how to process it.  Or maybe I just don't process it in what I would consider normal fashion.  Hell, I've never been to a therapist.  What I do know is that my version of processing emotion has always involved sport.  For the last 20 years of my life, sport has been my outlet, my refuge.

Growing up whenever I had a hard time I always wanted to go for a walk or go play basketball.  When my cousin died during our senior year of high school, after I visited family I went to basketball practice.  Nothing else made sense so I did the only thing that did make sense, playing.

Last Christmas I went home to see family for the holidays and the day I got in my brother came to the airport  with my dad to surprise me.  About an hour later when we were on our way home in separate cars he got in an accident that totaled his truck along with three others and landed him in the hospital for a day and a half. The day he was released from the hospital I went to the gym to lift.  A couple of days later he had a seizure and we took him to the ER for an overnight stay.  (He's completely happy, healthy, & fine now.)  I got home from the holiday trip and the next day when I stepped on that lifting platform all hell broke loose.  I lifted with a vengeance, an anger, a complete pouring of all emotion into the lift.  I was pushing for weight, for reps, for absolutely anything.  I felt like crying the whole time, not because it was hard or because I was hurting, simply because I needed to cry.

I know it sounds extremely selfish to go to practice or go to the gym when I should be with family.  It's just how I process things.  Even in times where it's not a major emergency, a bad day, a bad mood, upset about anything, I want to get a work out in.  It's a physical punishment to process whatever is on my mind.  It is my refuge when things get tough. 

Lately my refuge has provided no solace.  I enter a work out hoping to blow off some frustrations.  I step on the platform with high hopes but by the end I leave the platform worse off than when I started.  There has honestly not been one single workout in the last few weeks that has not ended up in tears before, during, or after the lifting, or at least a bit teary-eyed.  My frustrations have been off the chart and I'm a stubborn girl.  I have kept trying to beat the lifting to death, hoping it would finally submit and once again become my refuge.  I have often heard the definition of insanity as doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome.  Well I have definitely gone off the deep-end in terms of sanity.

I don't know how to "turn off."  I don't know how or when to give up.  I keep pushing and pushing and pushing until I am broken.  I keep going until I end up on the platform in tears, defeated.  I have to be told to stop, take a break, take time off.  This time around I was told I need to take a week off, step away from the platform, not touch a bar.

It has now been 10 straight days without touching a bar.  I can't say its been easy but it has been nice.  I also can't say that I was able to completely shut my brain off when it comes to thinking about weightlifting.  I did try though. 

It is time to get back on that platform and get back to work.  I am hopeful that it will all return to normal.  I need that platform.  I need my refuge, my comfort, my solace. 

You win some, you lose some

We've all heard the saying, "You win some, you lose some."  Last weekend I traveled to St. Joseph, MO for the Rodger DeGarmo Memorial weightlifting meet.  After spending 5 weeks straight of working 7 days a week my training had been taking a hit.  I wasn't able to train as well as I had hoped.  I was completely burnt out from all the stress and was brutally reminded that stress, whether mental or physical, is still stress.  I had a quick 2 week cycle where I had to get mentally ready to compete and just hope my physical readiness was there.  A week out I hit my snatch opener and about 3k less than my clean & jerk opener.  Going into the meet I was nervous about being able to hit my lifts but still thought I could at least pull out some decent lifts.

The day of the meet I went in about the normal level of nervous but still confident that I could do it.  Here's the video of how it actually went.....

I opened with 74k (not in the video) and then jumped 77k.  The 77k ties my all time personal record and is an official meet personal record.  After the 77k I jumped to 80k, a number I've been pushing towards for months now.  Juuuuust barely missed it.  Bring on the clean & jerks.....hit 90k fairly solid in the warm-up room and wanted to open with 93k, something I've done many times before.  As you can see by the video, I'm really quite great at cleaning 93k AND I did it back-to-back-to-back since I had to follow myself for all three attempts.  However, I obviously could not jerk 93k to save my life.  There are many reasons I could give for why I couldn't jerk that weight but in the end the meet accurately reflected how my training has gone.  It's definitely one of those "you lose some" situations.

Now on the flip side of that coin a lifter/teammate that I've been coaching was also competing in this meet.  For him it was without a doubt  "you win some" kinda day.  After a long time of coaxing him to move from 77k weight class up to the 85k weight class, he finally did it and boy did it pay off HUGE.  He gained 6-7k of bodyweight which earned him a 23k improvement on his best total ever.  For those of you metrically challenged he gained around 14lbs which added 50lbs to his best total ever.  Not only that but it also qualified him for the next two national level events.  Like I said, "you win some" kinda day.  And if you're wondering how excited he was about his new bodyweight and level of strength, check out the video....

So yeah it was a win some (my lifter lifting huge), lose some (me completely bombing out of the meet) kinda weekend.

The silver lining for me was really outside of weightlifting. I got to spend an awesome weekend with a great friend and great people enjoying Kansas City, MO.  As far as my lifting goes.....you win some, you lose some, and its time to go back to the drawing board.  

Pissed Off, Crying, Listening to Mudvayne....

....or as it was originally titled "Stress is stress."

It has come to my attention that I can be a complete idiot some times.  Now before you starting weighing in your opinions on that one let me explain why I am an idiot as well as a hypocrite.

I am all for pushing through tough times.  Pushing that extra bit when it seems the hardest.  Giving it your all and then giving more.  It's something I've taken pride in lately, pushing myself to the limit, especially with weightlifting.  However, I am possibly to the point of negative returns.  It's not that I've over reached on lifting, it's that I've over reached on life and working.

My current work schedule looks like this:

Monday 8-5, 6:30-8 (Lift mid-day)
Tuesday 8-5, 6:30-8 (Lift evening)
Wednesday 8-5, 5:30-6:30 (Lift mid-day)
Thursday 8-5, 5:30-6:30 (Lift mid-day)
Friday 8-5, 6:30-8 (No lift)
Saturday 9-10 (Lift with team)
Sunday 10-1 (No lift)

Yep.  That's me, working 7 days a week, and attempting to lift 5 days a week.  I'm not saying that I'm ridiculously busy during all those work hours.  I'm also not saying that I don't like working.  I LOVE all my jobs.  What I'm saying, and here's a friendly reminder to everyone, STRESS IS STRESS.  YOUR BODY CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PHYSICAL STRESS AND MENTAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL/EMOTIONAL STRESS.

Now after that friendly little reminder I will tell you that my lifting has begun to progress in the wrong damn direction.  I find myself exhausted, weary, and irritable.  I come home at night too tired to cook and when I finally muster the energy I'm too tired to eat.  I try to work on my recovery routine only to fall asleep on the foam roller.  I try to stick to my normal lifting schedule but the physical stress adding to the mental stress is taking its toll on my body and my body is rebelling.

I can be quite stubborn though.  I keep trucking right along, honoring the commitments I made to be working this much.  I keep trying to push the lifting.  Lifting is my stress reliever but I'm too stressed to lift well and not lifting well is stressing me out.  It's a wicked, vicious cycle that often ends in tears of frustration.

Today I was feeling pretty determined to get in some good lifting.  I was hoping to just hit some solid lifts that I could build on next week.  Snatches started off great until I started missing lifts at a weight I've been able to power snatch before.  It started messing with my mind so I decided rather than trying to beat it to death I'd move on.  Push presses actually went very well.  So well in fact that I push pressed for reps more than I actually could snatch today.  Moving onto squats...yeahhhhhh.....I barely hit triple digit weight.....for one grueling painful rep....a weight that I've hit for high reps.  Needless to say I was overly frustrated with it.

All the work I've put into lifting over the last few months feels completely derailed.  I'm exhausted.  I'm aware I've done this to myself.  I'm too stubborn to make a change to my work schedule because that will change in a couple of weeks and I can't help but think I can gut it out.

But I'm still trying to push it all to the limits....

And that's how I found myself pissed off, crying, listening to Mudvayne....

*Note - this might not have actually been the song on the radio at the time but I know a Mudvayne song was playing at some time during lifting.  Ha!

It's Not Every 4 Years, It's Every Day

The London 2012 Olympics are rock-n-rolling along right now.  It's inspiring to see the best athletes in the world competing, their passion and dedication shining through.  It all culminates in a proud moment of triumph or a heart wrenching moment of defeat.  In case you need a visual, check out any of the Olympic commercials narrated by Morgan Freeman.  Those darn things will bring a tear to your eye...

What the average everyday citizen forgets is that the Olympic Games really aren't every four years.  For these athletes it's every day of their life for four years straight.  It's something most people can't even imagine.  Spending hours every day, training, perfecting, planning.  HOURS every DAY for four YEARS straight in quest of the ultimate prize, an Olympic Gold Medal.

There are many sacrifices along the way to achieving even the opportunity to compete at such a high level. These athletes will sacrifice time spent with their family and friends to get one more training session or recovery work in.  They will put career plans on hold, taking lower paying jobs that allow them to train and travel as often as needed.  For many of these athletes there is so little sponsorship, if any, that they have to bank on the good will of others to donate money that goes towards paying rent, buying groceries, paying for travel to events, and all the other basic needs of a high level athlete. 

It's not just the athletes that have to sacrifice things to get to the next level.  Parents will sacrifice their time and money to make sure these athletes succeed.  I imagine the desire to see your child achieve their dreams of getting on that podium is almost as intense as the desire to be the one on the podium.  It's a heart warming experience to see parent truly dedicated to the success of their children.

Coaches will sacrifice time spent with their family and friends to help that athlete get one more rep and just a little bit closer to perfection.  They'll give up weekends and evenings to carefully plan which events to attend and which to pass on to get to the next level.  Wake up early to drive an athlete to an event so the athlete can relax and focus on what they need to do.  Coaching these athletes is a whole different level of stress.  Your knowledge, expertise, and guidance of these individuals is being put to the test.  Together as a coach, athlete, and team you are laying it all on the line. 

All of these individuals will spend those hours every day for years on end making those sacrifices the average individual can't even fathom to achieve a singular moment in time that may only last 30 seconds.  It's every day for four straight years to achieve that brief moment in time where they raise your flag and play your national anthem as you stand on the topmost podium breathing in the glory, crying the tears of success that has been years in the making.  For those athletes it's NOT every four years, it's every...single...day. 

Random Thoughts on a Friday

-The phrase "low rise" does not enter my fashion vocabulary.  Low rise = plumber's crack.  On a recent shopping trip I actually told my friend I'd almost prefer some Mom Jeans with a 9-inch comfort zipper.  She didn't think that was an advisable fashion choice.

-I love lifting heavy things.  That does not translate to mean I would love to lift your couch when you move.  However, since I'm a good person I will do it anyway.....if you feed me.

-I drive a big pick-up truck and love it.  That also does not translate to mean I would love helping you move.  However, I will help you move....if you feed me.  Or maybe buy me some gas at the lovely price of one internal organ per gallon of gas.

-I hate shopping for shorts.  There are only two options: Softball Coach or Denim Thong. 

-I've given up correcting people that call me a powerlifter or a bodybuilder. There's only so many times I can pantomime what I actually do.

-I coach in grunts.  It conveys a clearer message.

-Telling me you don't "work the legs" because you run is like saying you'll get rid of your flabby arms by waving in a parade.  

-People will do anything for a "free" t-shirt.  Even if they already own 14,392 other "free" t-shirts.  

-If the weight you're lifting is pink, it probably weighs less than that Sherpa-pack of a purse you lug around all day.  Try again. 

-Dressed up for me equates to any opportunity I get to wear jeans.  Or at least my "nice pair" of yoga capris. 

-I want to test drive most of the products on this website: As Seen On TV

Beastess: Angiesaurus Rex

The earth trembles and shakes when I walk. Competitors flee before my awesome stature.  I am Angiesaurus Rex!

This is what happens when I walk on the platform:

And this is what I do to the weights and my competitors:

I thrive on PRs!  I have been feeding my hunger with little morsels of big deadlifts and big squats.  Occasionally sampling a tidbit of sweet delicious near max competition lifts.  But Angiesaurus Rex is getting HUNGRY!  It's time to eat some BIG PRs on those competition lifts!!  And the Beastess will ROAR!!

But a word to the warning....never poke an Angiesaurus Rex before her morning coffee otherwise you'll find.....

All Things Gym!

I am very excited and honored to have been given the opportunity to write a guest post for one of my favorite websites All Things Gym.  They always seem to have the most up-to-date videos and podcast interviews of literally all things gym related.  Olympic lifting, powerlifting, crazy feats of strength.  I've also been privileged enough to have them feature two of my videos on their site! 

You can find the first video of mine they used of my teammate Shane getting ready for the Pan-American Championship as a feature on the website by clicking: Shane Maier Pan Am Prep

The second time I was part of the actual feature as Crazy Plank Girl after I videoed myself doing a weighted plank challenge that I was given.  Check it out: Crazy Weighted Plank

This time if you're searching for a little motivation you can check out my guest post: Once You've Finished. 

So many many thanks to All Things Gym for not only posting my videos but allowing me to write a guest post!  And in case you haven't clicked any of the above links, at least click this one: Click me NOW or else! Enjoy!

My Guest Post from All Things Gym: Once You've Finished

I wrote a guest post for All Things Gym and the original link can be found by clicking Once You've Finished.  And I'd highly recommend you check out many of the other posts on the webpage.  They always have the latest and greatest videos from the internet lifting land.  But if you'd like to just read my post here you go (it features links that weren't included in the original post).......


"Nothing seems hard once you've finished."  I can't remember where I first read that quote but it's definitely one that has stuck with me.

On the surface people will initially push back against that statement but seriously take a moment to think about it.  Think about the last competition or event you competed in.  Was it really that hard?  Sure in the heat of the moment you ARE giving it your all, leaving it all on the platform, I'm not saying that you aren't.  But what about after?  Do you really feel like it was absolutely that hard?  Personally I could go 6 for 6, which is something I've NEVER done, and every last one of those could be brand-spanking-new personal records.  Afterwards I could be laying exhausted on the floor and I'd still think to myself, "Well, you know it really wasn't that hard."

Over the past 7 months or so there has come a shift in my life.  New job, new apartment, new people in my life.  Essentially a complete life overhaul.  With that has come a renewed fervor to not just be good at weightlifting but to become great at it.  Just the mental shift alone has started me down the path that I had always wished I was on but never actually put myself on.

There wasn't a specific Aha! moment that I wasn't on the right path but rather an accumulation of realization that I was being self-limiting.  If I kept telling myself that 90k was the most I'd ever cleaned and that it was sooooo hard then it would forever be the most weight I'd ever cleaned and would always be hard.  The day that I cleaned 90k for a TRIPLE was an absolutely great day (see Two Roads Diverged in a Weight Room) and I can say that I left every ounce of effort I had on the platform to nail that triple.  I can also tell you that afterwards I thought to myself, "Well it really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be."

It really wasn't that hard to lift something that used to be my max.  Why wasn't it that hard?  Because I told myself it wouldn't be that hard.  I wasn't limiting myself to what I already knew I could lift.  I was experimenting with how much I could push past what I already knew.  And you know what?  Once I was finished, it really didn't seem that hard.

Whatever your brand of lifting, Olympic lifting, powerlifting, strongman (or woman), it's easy to limit yourself to lifting what you know and feeling like its the hardest lift ever but stop for a moment and really think on it.  When you finished that lift, did it really feel that hard?  If it did then you're probably limiting yourself to what you know was hard for you before and not really pushing the limits.  I'll expand on that quote by saying, "Nothing seems hard once you've finished.  Push the limits of what you know and you'll find that you're capable of so much more." 

Recovery Routines

I'll be the first to admit that I'm occasionally terrible at practicing what I preach, especially when it comes to recovery routines.  When it comes to lifting I'm actually pretty strict on myself to the point where I get annoyed if I'm ready to work out and someone starts infringing on my training time even if its only 5 minutes.  (Crazy much?!) Hell I can't even remember the last time I went out of town on a break and it didn't involve at least one day of lifting.  (Obsessed much?!?!)

Despite being rather regimented in my lifting, it's the recovery routine that I start to slack off in every couple of months or so.  My general nightly routine when I get home goes a little something like this: cook dinner, eat dinner & watch TV (or Facebook haha), foam roll, stretch, ice bath, bed time.  Lately it looks more like this: sit on couch, accidentally nap, cook dinner, eat dinner, watch a healthy dose of True Blood (+/- 3 episodes), bed time.  I KNOW I KNOW!  Why am I not doing the foam roll & stretch routine while OD-ing on TV?  One simple teeny tiny word: LAZY!

That's a big shocker huh?  Beastess being lazy.  Well I am now paying the price for being lazy.  I feel sore, tight, and imbalanced.   Trying to warm-up I feel like I'm a geriatric patient after double hip replacement.  Old injuries are popping up to say hello and remind me that if I don't get my ass back into a good recovery routine those injuries could just sucker punch me in the face leaving me on the sideline. 

Tonight's hot Friday night plans include foam rolling and stretching for at least an hour.  And not just arbitrarily foam rolling my legs.  But getting deep down into those muscles I really hate rolling out cause it just hurts so damn much.  Basically the muscles that need the most work because they are neglected the most.  I know it will suck buuuuuut it's my own damn fault.  Time to deal with the repercussions of being lazy.

When all is said and done, I know I'll feel better.  My body will be less sore and tight.  My warm-ups and lifts won't feel like I belong in a nursing home.  And to top it all off I'll probably feel a lot less stressed (gotta relieve that tension ya know?) and put myself into a better mood.  It will be a good reminder of why I should really strive to keep up with my recovery routine. 

So today's Public Service Announcement: Recovery routines are just as important as your training routine.  It really boils down to a good training routine should already be partnered up with a good recovery routine.  So go get yourself one.  Otherwise you're just selling yourself short on optimal performance.

Deadlift Beastess

Last week I wrote the blog "Until you try...." It was all about discovering what you're capable of and then setting the bar higher.  I never knew what I was capable of deadlifting having never really pushed the limits on my deadlifts so last week ended up as a crazy week for deadlift PRs (see previous posting for videos).

This week I was determined to hit a big 130k, which would exceed my 1-rep back squat PR by 1k.  Not only was my mission to beat my 1-rep back squat but I was given the goal of deadlifting 130k for 5 reps.  I'll spare you the tedious details and let you see the results of this mission yourself.....

That 138k is the most weight I have EVER moved in my entire life.  I did actually attempt to lift 142k and it was the oddest sensation to barely get that weight to budge.  I managed to get it about 1-inch off the floor but that's about the extent of it.  I suspect it is not a lack of strength but a matter of fatigue having repped out all the previous weights.  Given the right jumps and the right amount of reps I'm absolutely certain that 142k will not be a problem in the near future.  I'm gonna rep that weight out too!

Now that many of my strength lifts are really being put to the test, I'm getting excited to see what happens to my competition lifts.  If I can deadlift 138k then come hell or high water I will be strong enough to clean over 100k.  It's time to lift some big girl weights!!

Go Beastess!

Until you try....

There's that old adage, "You don't know what you're capable of until you try."  Well the more I geek out on weightlifting and the more inspired and motivated I become, the more I realize that I have no idea how much weight I'm really capable of lifting.  The only thing I know for certain is that I haven't even come close to my potential yet.  It's just a feeling I have.  Of that much I am certain.

As a lifter you'll always get those questions about how much you can lift in X, Y, or Z lift.  For the most part I know what I've been able to lift thus far in most lifts.  I know I've snatched 76k, clean & jerked 94k, back squatted 129k, and what I can do for reps for various lifts.  However, it wasn't until recently, and I'm not really sure why it took so long, that I realized I have no idea how much I can deadlift.  Hell I didn't even really have a goal for deadlifting.  It's just not something I had ever really thought about and again I have no idea why.

In addition to all of these lifting epiphanies I keep having regarding my own training, I also realized in the past few weeks that I've stagnated on lifting and, dare I say it, become a little complacent.  They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to fixing it.  So the past few days I've stepped onto the platform with renewed vigor and a desire to rip the head off the lion that is weightlifting.

I've given myself a goal for each training session in at least one lift.  Since my current focus is just to get insanely strong and see what happens to my other lifts, all my goals are targeted at the strength lifts.  Thursday my goals were entirely centered around getting a heavy deadlift for reps.  My goal was to deadlift 120 for 5 reps.  I based that goal on wanting to deadlift more than I squatted the previous day which was 117x5.  All my sets were done for 5 reps and I started out with a solid 97 before jumping to 110.  After that I figured why waste time and jumped directly to the 120.  Boom! Done deal, 5 reps in the bag.  There was no question that I was going to attempt more so I threw more weight on the bar.  BOOM!  Knocked out 126 for 5 solid reps. 

Here's a video of the deadlifts that technically count as new PRs since I had not previously established any....

I never knew what I could really deadlift before I tried.  And it certainly goes to say that if I can lift 126 for 5 reps, I'll be able to move even more than that for a single.  We're not quite there yet though.  Right now its building that base up even bigger so when I do finally attempt a heavy single, I'll have that good foundation for a nice technically solid lift.

Now as a side note, I didn't just jump face first into attempting heavy deadlifts.  I know my training level and abilities as well as what my body can handle.  I wouldn't have someone I just started coaching attempting heavy singles on any lift until they were technically sound and had built up a good base of strength.  Otherwise we start talking about the Zero to Hero complex I mentioned in a previous posting. 

Back to the main point and the moral of the story....you really don't know what you're capable of until you give it a try.  It's about putting yourself on the right path to accomplish those things you might never have dreamed possible.  It's about the things you have accomplished and taking them to the next level.  In the end you'll learn something and may even surprise yourself. 

Just not strong enough....yet

Ahhhh moment of epiphany....I'm just not strong enough.....yet.  "WHAT?!" you say.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  I am just not strong enough yet.  Strong, yes.  Strong enough, not yet. 

Yesterday while perusing one of my favorite websites (Everything Strength) to nerd out on strength & conditioning reading, I came across an article that really got me thinking.  It just so happened that I read the article right before getting my lift on.  As a consequence I went Beastess AND made some realizations about my training.

Realization #1: I am stronger than I have ever been.  My training over the last 5 months has been on the upswing.  I've PR'ed more in the last 5 months than the last 5 years of training.  I can consistently snatch and clean & jerk what used to be my "demon" weights and in turn have opened at meets with bigger numbers than ever before. 

Looking at my training I've really started to iron out some kinks in my technique.  Of course there will always be some fine tuning when it comes to technique.  I still like to fall back into some old bad habits occasionally.  Besides working on that technique though, I've really pushed my strength lifts up.  I have been squatting, pulling, and deadlifting more than I ever have before. 

Realization #2:  I am not strong enough yet to clean 100k.  I have cleaned 98k and honestly it really wasn't that hard.  So 2k more shouldn't be that hard either right?  Hahah that's what you think!  Again taking a look at my training I've realized over the last 2-3 weeks I haven't touched over100k in any of my lifts in general.  Not in squats, pulls, deadlifts, not-a-one.  Outside of attempting to clean 100k on three miserably failed attempts, I haven't touched over 100k recently.  Call it burn-out, over training, or just plain old being complacent lately, the fact of the matter is that I haven't moved 100k in any form recently. 

That kind of realization is one of those moments where you feel pretty sheepish and stupid.  If I haven't squatted or pulled or moved 100k in some fashion demonstrating that I am in fact strong enough to move 100k, what in the hell makes me think I can clean 100k?  Hellooooo if I don't push the threshold in the strength lifts it's pretty ridiculous to expect to move that kinda weight explosively. 

Realization #3:  I need to get strong as F***!  I know that I am capable of much more than I've limited myself to lately.  I need to get bigger, I need to look like a lifter and not just some pale scrawny twig.  I need to pick up some heavy shit and not just because I should, but because I can.  I need to constantly and consistently push that threshold higher and higher.

Realizing that I've been complacent in my strength training the last couple of weeks makes me pretty damn angry.  How do I deal with that anger?  I lift weights.  Yesterday I made the absolute 100% commitment to moving more than 100k in at least one lift.  I ended up squatting 90x5, 100x5, 108x5, and for a bit of variety, and mild self-punishment, I did barbell glute bridges 100 for 3x8.  I anticipated being a little sore today and probably unsurprisingly I am not in the least bit sore. 

So what does that mean?  It means it's time to Go Beastess!  It's time again to listen to that voice in my ear, that little devil, that says, "Ang, do something crazy in your training today."  

Strong, yes.  Strong enough, never. 

Zero to Hero....

The platform is not Hollywood.  You won't go from "Loveable Loser" to "Ultimate Champion" in a short, sweet 90 minutes.  Weightlifting is not all glory and triumphs summed up in a 3-minute video montage of all the hard work.  Behind all those triumphs are ninja kicks to the face, train derailments, and mental implosions.  You will not go from Zero to Hero in a matter of days, weeks, or months. 

Sit down, buckle yourself in, and get ready for the long haul.  My goals are lofty and start with breaking into the top ten in my weight class.  I'm currently sitting somewhere in the low 20s right now and I would LOVE to be that girl that came out of nowhere.  One of those triumphant TA-DAHHH moments, cue cheesy inspirational music.  As a competitor I understand the desire to go from Zero to Hero in 0.5seconds, especially when you get on a PR train.  It's that euphoric feeling of being unstoppable every time you touch the bar.  It's ridiculously addicting. 

Now as a coach, I have a new lifter that I've only been working with for a couple of months.  Every week I hear some version of the following: When am I gonna start lifting the really heavy weights...why can't I be strong now....I want to start lifting really heavy weight and then go back to work on skill.  That's a Zero to Hero complex if I ever saw one.  Every week I continually remind him that without working on the skills and becoming consistent/efficient/effective, those heavy weights are going to stay glued to the floor.  Now I know what Yoda felt like dealing with Luke Skywalker. 

Strength is not linear.  Improvements are not linear.  Seemingly unstoppable PR Trains will magically morph into Struggle Buses and Keanu Reeves won't be there to save your ass from that speeding bus.  The only way to go from Zero to Hero is put in work, accept that there will be setbacks, battle thru, and come out fighting.  It might take months or even years but that ride is definitely worth it.

Some Days You're Just Going to SUCK!

One of the toughest obstacles for a lifter to get over is having a bad day.  That's the day where it feels like you've completely forgotten how to lift and seriously question whether you actually knew how to lift in the first place.  Those are the days that like to jump up and bite you in the ass, usually after you've been rocking some amazing workouts.  Hop on a PR train for awhile and I can guarantee you will eventually run into one of those sucky lifting days.

Weightlifting requires a certain attitude.  You have to be mentally strong and just a bit crazy to willingly walk up to something that outweighs you, pull it off the floor as high as you can get it, and throw yourself underneath it.  With that attitude and craziness comes the desire to be perfect every single time you walk on the platform.  You want to be good, you want to be strong, and you want to get better.  BUT.....Some days you're just going to SUCK!

"Yeah yeah yeah, some days will suck but they really won't be that bad."  You only THINK they won't be that bad until you're actually in them, getting ready to punt your protein shaker across the room in frustration. Maybe your body just isn't feeling well, you might be tired, you might be unable to mentally dial in.  Whatever the reason for having a sucky lifting day, it is still frustrating as hell.  (And if you haven't been there you haven't been training long enough.)

Now here comes the tricky part...allowing yourself to have a sucky lifting day.  I have talked many fellow lifters off the proverbial edge, reassuring them that it's okay to have a bad lifting day.  That just because today didn't go as well as you'd hope, the next training day could be phenomenal.  Practice what you preach, Sister!

Today I had a sucky lifting day.  Snatching with mildly decent technique apparently just wasn't in the cards today.  Push pressing felt like my body had no idea what it was really supposed to do.  Front squats I might as well have just been attempting to squat a trailer house for as heavy and as awkward as they felt.  All very irritating which lead to me being a baby, throwing my straps and belt all over the place.  Like I said, practice what you preach, and I sure as heck was not allowing myself to have a sucky lifting day.

Now that the day is over I can step back and tell myself, "Yeah it was a sucky lifting day but Wednesday you'll be better."  It's also a good time to remind myself that some days I'm just going to SUCK and that when those days come I just need to swallow my pride, make the weights move well regardless of how much is on the bar, and allow myself to have a bad day.  This isn't training that takes just a couple days, weeks, or months to be good.  It takes YEARS and I'm in it for the long haul.

So as it was once quoted, "Without failure there is no success."  To realize this and that along the way there will be Some Days Where You're Just Going To Suck, that is what separates the Beastess from the boys.  

The People Around You

Weightlifting is an individual sport.  It's you vs the weight on the bar.  You alone are responsible for the outcome, good or bad.  That being said, however, the people around you can affect your training.  There are people who affect your training positively, negatively, and those who probably have almost no bearing on your training.  You will absorb bits and pieces of the atmosphere those around you create.  It's your life atmosphere and you will soak it up through osmosis whether you like it or not.

The negative people, those Debbie Downers and Negative Nancies, will rob you of your mojo.  They might not take it during your workout but if you're around those people on a frequent basis outside of training eventually their poor attitude will sap you of your great attitude.  Like I said, osmosis.  Then there are those people that rob you of your confidence, make you feel bad about yourself, and by extension your training may suffer.  They can suck out the general confidence you have in yourself and you can damn well bet that translates to the confidence in your abilities on the platform.  You may not realize some of these people are in your life (they're really good at sneaking into people's lives) or that they can affect your training so much even if they have nothing to do with it.

The positive people, the polar opposite of Debbie Downers.  These people have an uncanny ability to instill a confidence in you that you never knew existed.  They inspire you to reach further than you've ever reached before.  Not only do they expect you to reach further, they hold you to the task of getting those high reaching goals.  They motivate you to do work even on the days where it would be easy to hang up your hat and call it a day.  At the end of the day these are the kind of people that make you feel good about yourself and good about what you're doing in life.  Surrounding yourself with these type of people will boost your training, make you reach for that last rep, motivate you to push it to the max and then tell you to add 5k more.  And you'll do it because you know you can and because someone is behind you telling you that they believe you can. 

Training for an individual sport isn't always easy.  It takes dedication above and beyond weekend warrior status.  You're going to train when everyone else is going to take a nap.  You're going to bed early when everyone else is going to the bars because you have to train in the morning .  You're getting recovery in because you know if you don't, the next day you'll feel like a train wreck.  Pushing yourself to the next level and then setting that bar even higher is tough on your own some times.  Surround yourself with people that have a positive impact on your training and it'll be that much easier to Go Beastess!

Two Roads Diverged in a Weight Room.....

I LOVE lifting.  There's always been some "glitch" in me that makes me want to be stronger and faster than everyone around me.  Now with that being said there are days where the thought of trying to pick up something heavy just doesn't sound very appealing.  This is where Robert Frost's two roads diverge in a wood....you can take the easy road and not lift.  Or you can put on your big girl panties and do work!

Today was one of those days.  I was a little bit tired and A LOT cranky from work.  Joints were feeling stiff, tired, maybe a bit twingy.  Not the worst I've ever felt going into a work out but definitely a little on edge.  So the roads were split....

Road 1 - Sit here in front of the computer, talking the talk.  Blah blah blahhhhing about lifting.
Road 2 - Pony up & lift some heavy shit.

So I pulled out the big girl panties, squeezed my increasingly large ass into them, and decided to skip down Road 2 or die trying.  Of course with being so inspired lately I decided to take it a step further and put up a big goal for the session.  Full clean 90k for 3 reps or get buried underneath it trying.  A few months ago just cleaning 90k for one rep would've seemed lofty and this time I wanted to triple it.  80k for 3, check!  85k for 3, felt a little heavier than I thought but check!  On to the bar 90k goes.....A lot of grunts, screams, yells, and a slight grinder third rep.....CHECK AND DONE!

With the full cleans done for the day it was time to move onto the squats.  Squatting is one of my favorite lifts.  Squatting for 8 reps, maybe not as much.  8 reps feels like an eeeeeeeeeternity under the weight.  Prior to taking my current job I was on a good roll and had squatted 100x8 but haven't gotten anywhere near that recently.  Today my plan was to match that by my last set.  I did one warm up set of 70x4 then got right into it.  90x8, felt like baby weight.  Decided to jump straight to 100.  Knocked out 8 reps no problem.  Went to 105....1 rep 2 rep breath, 3 rep 4 rep 5 rep breath, 6 rep breath, 7 rep breath, 8 rep scream like a banshee and rack it like a champ! Lay on floor waiting for my ass and legs to stop twitching.....

Both lifts were PRs for the reps.  Clean 90x3.  Squat 105x8.  Beastess...mode...complete.

Two roads diverged in a weight room.  I lifted some heavy weight.  And that has made all the difference.....

WTF was I doing for the last 7 years?!!?!?!?!

I've competed in weightlifting for the last 7, almost 8 years.  Prior to that I lifted for sports performance starting at the age of 16 when I was old enough to drive the 40 miles to a suitable gym.  I lifted twice a week and did conditioning twice a week all summer long. I then proceeded to have some of the best sport seasons of my high school career.  In college I did track & field and lifting was a natural part of that training. Only one other female teammate actually enjoyed the lifting and wanted to pick up heavy things. Other than that I lifted with some of the guys in the weight room.

Once I graduated and joined the working world I still hungered for competitive athletics.  As luck would have it a co-worker at the gym (started my adult life as a personal trainer) was competing in weightlifting.  One day I asked her to take me with her and the rest is history...the end.

Now if that were truly the case you'd know who I am and that I accomplished great things in weightlifting.  Only I haven't really accomplished even the meager goals I set out to and in retrospect I think I've accomplished next to nothing over the last 7 years of training.  I'm not saying that my training sucked but well, WTF was I doing for the last 7 years?

In all reality the only thing I accomplished over the last 7 years of training is being EXTREMELY consistent. And by EXTREMELY I mean that I've snatched and clean & jerked and totaled pretty much the same exact weights +/- 3-5kg for the last 7 years. Talk about consistent and talk about plateau.  Why was I content with that?  Who in their right mind would be content with that?  It's like going into the weight room every day and saying, "Hey, I think I'll be mediocre today."  What a horribly awful mindset to have!  I had those goals to lift big weights but never even tried to get there. Sure I went in and lifted but it really seems I never pushed myself to the complete breaking point.  WTF was wrong with me?!?!

Here's the good news though....I have gone BEASTESS!! Now not only do I want to pick up heavy shit (which I've always wanted to do), I actually pick it up.  In the last 3+ months of training, I've managed to hop on the PR train a few times and get PRs in almost every lift I've ever done.  Be it power snatch for triples or split jerks for singles.  My long time nemeses were snatching 70 and clean & jerking 90.  Welllllll, at my last national meet I opened with 74 & 90, not to mention that I've hit lifts bigger than that in training.  Needless to say, I've slayed the 70/90 demons and now that I have I'm so hungry for bigger, faster, stronger that I've completely gone off the deep end!  I just about eat, sleep, breath, and poop weightlifting.

I wish I could 100% say what inspired me to go into the gym and not just say I want bigger lifts but actually attempt bigger weights.  To walk in, lift something heavy, and then add 5k more and see what happens.  I have my hunches on a few things that changed in my life that were part of my inspiration: people, places, things.  I'm just being a little intro/retrospective and wonder why the hell I waited 7 years to become this inspired?!?!

My brother once quoted to me, "A dream not written is only a wish."  Well I'm putting it down here now:
Summer 2012
- Snatch 80k
- Clean 100k
- Jerk 100k
- Squat 137+k (This has been a goal since I started lifting at 16. Squat double body-weight which at the time would equate to around 137k.  Now it's more like 150k.)

By Summer 2016
- Total 200+
- Squat 150+k
- Invite to Olympic Trials

My final parting words are......
Don't be content with mediocre.  Don't go into today to be mediocre. Go into today to do and be great. 

What is Beastess?

What is Beastess?  Ever heard of balls to the wall?  Well since I don't happen to have that particular bit of anatomy I can't really go balls to the wall.  But I can damn well Go Beastess! I can walk into a gym like I own the place.  I can walk onto the platform and decide that I will own whatever weight I put on the bar. And if it isn't heavy enough or hard enough, I'll add 2k, add 5k, add kilos until it IS heavy and it IS hard.  And I'll still rep it out.  Then I'll go on to my next lift and own that lift too.  After the day is done, I'll go home and eat like it's my last meal on earth then eat some more.  And foam roll and stretch like there's no tomorrow.  And then if I'm not beat up and beat down enough, I'll crawl my ass into an ice bath for 15 freezing minutes.  What about tomorrow?  I'll do it again. It's a conscious effort to Go Beastess.  And I will continue to do it until I'm too broken, bloodied, and dying to go on.  Even at the end of it all, I will be the Beastess and I....WILL....ROAR!