Justified - Needs vs Wants

I'm a needs versus wants kinda person.  Do I really NEED something or do I just WANT something?  It's how I was raised and actually a pretty conservative way to live.  Unless of course you take it to the extreme.  Now I'm not talking get my own special on TLC kind of extreme but I'll justify myself out of a lot things that I need.  I won't buy myself a new pair of jeans because I already own *gasp* two pairs: one nice and one not nice pair.  I haven't bought a good solid winter coat because I can just layer long sleeves and sweatshirts under my other coats.  Like I said, conservative way to live but not always the brightest.   

As you might've noticed from quite a few of my previous posts I've taken a bumpy ride on the Struggle Bus. *honk, honk*  Being a stubborn individual I have continuously talked myself out of getting the extra stuff that, at this point, I definitely NEED.  I've needed a deep tissue massage, active release therapy, chiropractic, any type of bodily intervention for awhile now.  I have kept justifying myself out of actually getting that work done by telling myself that I don't need it, I just want it, and I can address the same issues at home with foam roller/PVC/lacrosse ball, a nightly stretch out, and save a bit of money in the process.  That plan is all well and good except for one small bump.  By the time I get home at night and get a chance to do all of that, I actually just fall asleep on the floor.  Yep, a nightly 30-minute nap on the floor on or spooning a foam roller. 

I'm all for a little cuddle session but snuggling with a foam roller doesn't exactly keep my hips mobile.  By not being diligent and strict about my Recovery Routines, I have allowed myself to become so jacked up that my ability to squat at any given point is hit or miss.  I mean we're talking that some times it's uncomfortable to squat down just to tie my shoe, let alone actually load weight onto my body.  Not being able to squat is an enormous road block to Operation 180 that was supposed to start about 2 weeks ago.  Hard to get bigger and stronger if I can't do one of the key lifts to help with that.  Let's not even talk about my current ability to perform the Olympic lifts. 

After a very rough, very frustrating Saturday morning lift I was getting a little pep talk from a teammate.  I told him that I was more apt to justify helping him pay for a deep tissue massage than to actually get one for myself.  I would pay for someone else to get one before paying for myself.  He pointed out that with working as many jobs as I do I most certainly can't be hurting for money for the occasional deep tissue massage.  He also mentioned that I need to stop worrying about helping out someone else before I help myself.  I will write programs for everyone else before I worry about my own programming.  I will make sure my lifters are getting what they need before I consider myself.  I have a couple of 94s that I'm determined to get qualified for a national level meet, a 77 turned 85 that I want to have a better experience at the American Open this year, and a 58 that I want to have a good experience at her first national level meet.  I worry about them well before I worry about what my body, training, etc is going like.  I was instructed to stop always worrying about everyone else and justify a little time for myself. 

Well after learning the hard way, which is a common theme for me, I now have to classify active release therapy, chiropractic, and a deep tissue as a need.  If I don't re-categorize it as a need vs a want, I'm going to keep doing the same insane things time and again and like an idiot expect different results.  I want to take weightlifting as far as I possibly can.  I'm going to have to put on my big girl pants and realize that, as I have often preached to other, recovery is part of the process of getting better and periodic massages or chiropractic have to be a part of that recovery.  I can't keep justifying myself OUT of something I need especially if its something I can afford on occasion. 

If there is nothing else to be had from reading my posts, I hope there's at least an occasional cautionary tale in here to learn from.  Most of my recommendations to fellow lifters and athletes that I coach are because I have experienced it first hand and don't want them to have to learn the same lesson the hard way.  So the moral of the story today is don't justify yourself out of something because you think you don't deserve it.  Some times a want IS a need.