Operation 180 has been the mission for pretty much the entire year. Initially Operation 180 was strictly a numbers based mission. Snatch 80k, clean & jerk 100k, total 180k. Pretty simple. I've come very close to some of those aspects over the last year. Cleaned 98k in training, clean & jerked 96k in training, and within the last couple of months just barely missed that 80k snatch at the DeGarmo Memorial (video on You win some, you lose some post). My goal has been and continues to be hitting that 180 total by the American Open this December.
However, as it often does, life got in the way. Things happened, things changed, life shifted. Operation 180 just got more complicated. Now not only is it a numbers mission but it's a mission to change physically, mentally, and emotionally about 180-degrees from what I've become lately.
Obviously one of the main components is physical change. The past few weeks my training has been complete and utter shit so I took 10 full days off from training. In terms of strength, speed, and just lifting stamina I feel very behind. I'm feeling rather weak and scrawny which are feelings I'm not particularly fond of. Now I have to gain back some body weight, gain back a lot of strength, get back to pushing for the numbers I made as goals earlier this year (WTF was I doing for the last 7 years?!?!). I have around 7 weeks to really bust my ass, get my ass larger, and get my ass in gear!
While getting my ass in gear is important, it's just as important to get my mind right. I can think and hope and wish and pray that I hit 180 but my mind and emotion have to be behind it. As I mentioned my training has been completely crap and honestly my mental attitude (also my stubbornness) and my emotional attitude towards lifting has been just as much to blame as a decrease in physical performance. I let myself get burned out on weightlifting. I allowed myself to become so consumed by it that it took over my entire life. It was, and still is, a bit obsessive. Being that overtaken by one thing is not a super healthy way to live in my opinion. Because of the obsessive nature of the beast I was fretting over every aspect of my lifting including my declining strength. Being the stubborn ass that I am I kept pushing and pushing and pushing trying to force the lifting which lead me to the next aspect I need to get right......
Emotionally I've been all over the board lately. It's a multi-faceted issue: frustration with my declining performance, a huge inspiration leaving, unexpected setbacks, exhaustion from working so much (I currently technically have 3-4 separate jobs, don't ask, I'm crazy). Many if not all of my recent workouts have ended up in tears. Some times I am able to lift through the tears and do well and other times it's just sitting down on the platform and having a good cry. There has been punting of foam rollers and water bottles, throwing of straps, wraps, and belts. Then of course a hefty amount of swearing and even more frustration since I'm not the type for expressing emotion, let alone in public. To some it may seem like a bit of a temper tantrum, repeated temper tantrums, but truly it runs deeper than that. If you're not emotional about weightlifting then you're not really invested in it yet. And I've gone all-in on weightlifting.
Now with all of that in mind I have to get my emotions under control so they don't railroad my workouts straight into the shitter. If I'm bursting into tears because I can't jerk to save my life that's not going to help. I need to dial back in and refocus that energy into something productive. Get the mind and emotions right so I can put them both into a strong, solid lift.
The next few weeks leading into the American Open are 100% about re-assessing my goals. I have to take my physical, mental, and emotional performances and turn them 180-degrees from what they have been recently. I've wanted to hit the 80k and 100k all year long but I've also wanted to hit some big squats and big deadlifts. Getting stronger there will be steps in the right direction. I have to take where I am (weak and scrawny) and figure out how to get where I want to be (strong like beastess). It's going to be some some big gains in what I feel is a short time. Am I up for the challenge? You're damn right I am!
Operation 180. Turning my training around 180-degrees, hitting 180k at the American Open. It's time to Go Beastess!
No comments:
Post a Comment