Friday, July 6, 2012

Random Thoughts on a Friday


-The phrase "low rise" does not enter my fashion vocabulary.  Low rise = plumber's crack.  On a recent shopping trip I actually told my friend I'd almost prefer some Mom Jeans with a 9-inch comfort zipper.  She didn't think that was an advisable fashion choice.

-I love lifting heavy things.  That does not translate to mean I would love to lift your couch when you move.  However, since I'm a good person I will do it anyway.....if you feed me.

-I drive a big pick-up truck and love it.  That also does not translate to mean I would love helping you move.  However, I will help you move....if you feed me.  Or maybe buy me some gas at the lovely price of one internal organ per gallon of gas.

-I hate shopping for shorts.  There are only two options: Softball Coach or Denim Thong. 

-I've given up correcting people that call me a powerlifter or a bodybuilder. There's only so many times I can pantomime what I actually do.

-I coach in grunts.  It conveys a clearer message.

-Telling me you don't "work the legs" because you run is like saying you'll get rid of your flabby arms by waving in a parade.  

-People will do anything for a "free" t-shirt.  Even if they already own 14,392 other "free" t-shirts.  

-If the weight you're lifting is pink, it probably weighs less than that Sherpa-pack of a purse you lug around all day.  Try again. 

-Dressed up for me equates to any opportunity I get to wear jeans.  Or at least my "nice pair" of yoga capris. 

-I want to test drive most of the products on this website: As Seen On TV

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