On Being A Female Weightlifter

I often get asked how or why I got into weightlifting.  Most of the time I tell people that I started strength training when I was 16 and just never looked back. I really think there's more to it than sheer happenstance.  It feels like a really complicated question that I can't really answer.  Why do I compete in lifting?  Because I can?  Because I want to?

As a female weightlifter (and strength coach) there's never really an answer that satisfies the curious.  For the general public if a man says that he competes in weightlifting there is the usual nod of affirmation and perhaps the question of how much you lift.  When a woman is posed the same question it is usually accompanied by the incredulous eyebrow raise and then let the whys fly.  Why do you compete?  Why did you get into it?  Why aren't you afraid you'll get enormous?

I started generalized strength training when I was 16.  I was given the opportunity to participate in a summer long sports performance training program where I would lift twice a week and sprint on a treadmill twice a week.  Blame it on the country upbringing or the lack of social networking but it never one single time crossed my mind that 1.) I would get huge, 2.) it could be considered weird for women to lift, or 3.) that there was any way to get strong other than lift weights.  I can tell you that at 5' 10" and around 163lbs with the ability to move a couple hundred pounds in several different ways I get asked more often if I'm a yoga instructor or a dancer than I get asked if I'm a weightlifter or, heaven forbid, a bodybuilder. 

After many years in the big wide world and the ever growing connectivity of humans, there is the weird stigma that weightlifting will make you huge and that by doing Zumba 3 times a week you'll get strong.  I'm not knocking any of the mainstream methods of fitness ("At least people are getting up & moving..." blah blah blahhhh) but we're talking weightlifting and getting strong.  If you asked me how to get strong I'm going to tell you to pick up a weight and preferably one that's scuffed, covered in a bit of chalk, and looks like it survived a nuclear blast.  That pink dumbbell women claim is making them strong actually weighs less than that designer handbag they lug around so it's time to stop fooling themselves.  Stop being whiny bitches.

Now that we've put on our big girl panties there are some inevitable truths about being a female weightlifter.  Obviously no one is going to understand why you do what you do other than like-minded individuals, read - other weightlifters and strength enthusiasts.  Dating becomes a whole new world of fun explaining that in your free time you try to throw a weight over your head that weighs more than your date.  You'll inevitably have to pantomime what you do and probably flex your bicep as if that were an indication of your strength.  Telling your date how much  you can squat will also guarantee that they give your ass another look as they hold the door for you when you leave the restaurant.

Doesn't she look sooooo strong!

Speaking of ass, your body will change and it WILL be for the better.  It will become tighter, toned, and yes more curvy.  Who gives a shit what the scale says if your waist is narrower and your ass is tighter!  Yessssss I realize that the clothing as it's manufactured currently is designed for one main body type: twiggy, bony, no-ass-having, grumpy, smug, most certainly hungry, little bitches.  Basically that means you'll find stuff designed to fit a woman that resembles a 2"x4".  You will probably have to buy jeans one size too big in the waist and then tailor it in to avoid the plumbers crack because your waist-to-ass ratio is much different than the average Suzy Sloth.  I would rather have a high, tight, strong ass and have to tailor my clothes than conform to the norm.  I would also much rather be considered "bulky" than jiggly.  I'm just saying. 

As female weightlifters we also have one very distinct thing that can effect our training that men never have to experience.  Yep, once a month we get to bloat, cramp, bleed, and hormonal rage.  Do you think its an easy thing to walk into a gym when you feel like your body is hollowing you out like a Halloween pumpkin? I will tell you one absolutely crucial piece of information though.  Even if you have cramps that feel like you're being stabbed from the inside out, your back feels like it's been hacked in half with a spoon, and you've bloated so much that you've jumped up two weight classes, get your ass in the gym and lift.  Not only does lifting help alleviate all those symptoms but it'll get your mind focused on things other than the internal apocalypse that's going on down there.

What every woman experiences once a month.

When it comes to emotions, women by nature are all over the board some times.  We simply can't help it.   Lifting is a mood elevator but that doesn't mean we won't spontaneously burst into tears if we miss a lift.  Yes around the time our period hits we'll get a bit more moody.  No we don't enjoy any of it.  Would you enjoy if I kicked you in the balls once a month?  Didn't think so.  And as a fair warning, just because we're a little moody does NOT mean we're on our period.  We can have bad days too, a-holes.

I know personally I'm not exactly known for being the most fashionable.  I'm probably one of those prime candidates for "What Not to Wear."  However I still do possess the desire to be pretty once in awhile.  Female lifters will probably match their gym clothes.  They will also possibly wear make up to the gym for no real reason.  Manicure, pedicure, pamper pamper pamper.  Just because we want to out-lift a man doesn't mean we want to look all slovenly like one.  My pre-gaming before my last meet included painting my nails, curling my hair, and putting on make-up.  So sue me, I looked pretty and lifted pretty, I PR'd.  Maybe you should take note.

Overall it's much more difficult to be a female weightlifter than a male.  We have to justify why we want to pick up heavy shit, men get "Oh that's cool, bro!"  We get to scare the hell out of our dates at the mere mention that we like lifting, men get fawned over.  We have to try on every single piece of clothing before we buy it, men can grab 8 things off a rack and it fits right every time.  We get punched in the uterus for a few days every month, men get punched in the junk ummm next to never anymore really.  We have to pick up heavy shit and look good doing it, men can showing up looking like they haven't showered in a week.

It's tough being a female weightlifter.  Why do I lift?  I don't know.  I guess at this point it really is.....BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT!  Deal with it.

Who needs to squat!....Or how I performed well at the Arnolds without training squat...

Ahhhh the Arnold Weightlifting Championships, part competition, part freak show.  The theme for the weekend was "Let's get weird!"  And speaking of weird, my training going into the competition was the weirdest, most inconsistent, directionless training I've ever had.  I wasn't really following a specific cycle or plan for most of the time frame between the American Open and the Arnold.  I had a collaborative training cycle for about 3 weeks leading into the competition and that's about the extent of planning.  Since about the end of October I had done a back squat a grand total of one time and front squats maybe a total of three times, essentially zero focus on training a heavy bilateral squat for strength.  My squat training came in two forms: full lifts and split squats.  The rest of my strength training involved snatch pulls.  Yep, basically three things got me healthy, got me strong, and helped me nail a PR.  It's not the normal training I would prescribe but I had to think outside the box after pissing a year's worth of good training down my leg and hurting myself at the American Open.  And well, it worked so well it even got rid of nagging pains I've experienced for years. 

After waiting months to redeem myself from having to withdraw from the American Open it was time for a little ol' road trip to the thriving metropolis of Columbus, OH.  As the sun rose Thursday I was packing before heading to the airport to pick up my lifter, James, who unhappily arrived from Arizona to a snowy Chicago landscape.  We hit the road where we stopped in Indiana for a quality breakfast with the old folks at Bob Evans then gassed up & got provisions for the trip.  About 5 hours and one video of dancing gummy bears later, we arrived in Columbus.  A little pre-workout meal from Wendy's and we headed to the venue for our final training session before the competition.  I can happily and excitedly tell you that we were the very first people to use the warm-up room that was stocked with brand new Eleiko bars.  Post training meal involved James and Terry making fun of me for my lack of desire to parallel park my truck outside of the restaurant and then eventually getting a parking ticket for parking in a residential area.  Damn you, Columbus Meter Maids!

Friday was all about watching teammates compete, cups of bacon, exploring the expo, and one smart ass comment almost setting of a 'Roid Rage.  The hotel we were setup in thankfully had a free breakfast that involved more than tiny boxes of cereal and a box of mixed bagels, donuts, and danishes.  Post-breakfast we decided Terry would need a pick-me-up since he was trouble-shooting the scoreboard all weekend long so we packed a coffee to-go cup with bacon.  It was much appreciated and later repeated.  After the bacon delivery it was time to wander the expo, get free crap, and enjoy the freak show.  However, when at the Arnold Sports Festival I would recommend against offering to hold a man's purse while he attempts to axel deadlift 480lbs.  Otherwise you get an overly acned, overly large dude puffing his chest up in your face, posturing up like a gorilla in the safari telling you that that's his brother and not to call it a purse.  And that's when I quickly wandered away.  Haha!  Friday evening ended with a little driving tour around the Ohio State University campus and surprising my men's volleyball team when I showed up to watch them play against OSU.  While they played amazing and took it to 5 games, they eventually lost. 

Saturday!  Game day!  After breakfast with the teammates, they went off to the venue to wait around for weigh-ins and I stuck around the hotel awhile.  About an hour and half later, I was in rare form.  Showered up, make-up on, hair & nails did.  I figured if I looked pretty I would lift pretty.  Turns out that wasn't too far off.  Everything was feeling great during warm-ups and I told my coach that I wanted to open with a conservative 70, then jump to 74, and finally take a PR attempt at 78.  This was one of the few meets where I've ever had to go back into the warm-up room for extra lifts because there were so many attempts by other lifters between my announced attempts.  Opened with a solid 70, came out with an even more solid 74 on the second attempt, missed an extra lift back in the warm up room, shrugged it off, and boldly walked out for a stab at 78.  I don't recall anything between the point of lift off and when I was sitting in the bottom of the snatch just holding on to it, recovering slowly.  Stood up with it, got the down signal, stared down the scoreboard looking for those little white lights, and then bounced down off the platform like a 15-year-old cheerleader.  Three white lights and a confirmed PR!

On to the clean & jerks!  I realized that I'm either getting stronger or smarter or both but it really doesn't take me many attempts to get to my openers anymore. In this case I was ready for my opener after 4 warm-up attempts.  Again I went with a conservative opener at 85, I just needed to hit that to nail a good enough total to qualify for Nationals.  Solid, easy clean but a weeee bit of an unlock on the jerk.  Thanks to inconsistent judging I was able to get 2 of 3 white lights on it though.  After another lift in the warm up room, came back out on the platform with 90, again an easy clean but Lordy did I throw the jerk forward.  Locked it out, lunged forward, again got 2 of 3 white lights.  Again there were what felt like a million attempts between my second and third attempts and I was running out of gas so I didn't want to take an extra lift in the back.  I had gummy bears between snatch and clean & jerk (*gasp* don't care, don't want your nutritional advice) and they were quickly disappearing from their intended energy boost.  Stepped on the platform determined to go for broke on an attempt at 94.  Crussssshhhhhhhed the clean, stood up, and then the room started getting small.  One breath, two breath, dip, annnnd dumped the weight.  Holy hell was I gassed.  In the end I was credited with 78 & 90 on a 5 for 6 performance and within 1k of my best total ever.  Check it out.....

Overall I really do credit the split squats with not only being my saving grace but also the reason I was able to perform as well as I did without training heavy front or back squats.  One week out from the competition I was able to split squat holding 160lbs for two reps each leg.  In case you're wondering that's essentially what I weigh and I squatted it primarily using one leg.  I call that a win.  Who needs to train squats!  Well actually we all do but split squats are now going to be a staple of all my training cycles in some capacity.  8 hours worth of driving and 3 days later, I've already been back in on the platform twice.  One day of working of being patient during snatch and finding better balance & transition on the snatch pull.  One day of working on feeling the difference between a good jerk and a bad jerk.  Annnnnnd I squatted!  Back squat 100x3 like it was a warm up weight.  I know it's not that heavy but blah blah blah don't care, the point is I squatted 100k after not squatting since October! 

Who's back on the right track for big things this year?  This girl!  I hear a PR train rolling into the station and it's time to hop on.  Chugga chugga chooooo chooooo!