I'm a needs versus wants kinda person. Do I really NEED something or do I just WANT something? It's how I was raised and actually a pretty conservative way to live. Unless of course you take it to the extreme. Now I'm not talking get my own special on TLC kind of extreme but I'll justify myself out of a lot things that I need. I won't buy myself a new pair of jeans because I already own *gasp* two pairs: one nice and one not nice pair. I haven't bought a good solid winter coat because I can just layer long sleeves and sweatshirts under my other coats. Like I said, conservative way to live but not always the brightest.
As you might've noticed from quite a few of my previous posts I've taken a bumpy ride on the Struggle Bus. *honk, honk* Being a stubborn individual I have continuously talked myself out of getting the extra stuff that, at this point, I definitely NEED. I've needed a deep tissue massage, active release therapy, chiropractic, any type of bodily intervention for awhile now. I have kept justifying myself out of actually getting that work done by telling myself that I don't need it, I just want it, and I can address the same issues at home with foam roller/PVC/lacrosse ball, a nightly stretch out, and save a bit of money in the process. That plan is all well and good except for one small bump. By the time I get home at night and get a chance to do all of that, I actually just fall asleep on the floor. Yep, a nightly 30-minute nap on the floor on or spooning a foam roller.
I'm all for a little cuddle session but snuggling with a foam roller doesn't exactly keep my hips mobile. By not being diligent and strict about my Recovery Routines, I have allowed myself to become so jacked up that my ability to squat at any given point is hit or miss. I mean we're talking that some times it's uncomfortable to squat down just to tie my shoe, let alone actually load weight onto my body. Not being able to squat is an enormous road block to Operation 180 that was supposed to start about 2 weeks ago. Hard to get bigger and stronger if I can't do one of the key lifts to help with that. Let's not even talk about my current ability to perform the Olympic lifts.
After a very rough, very frustrating Saturday morning lift I was getting a little pep talk from a teammate. I told him that I was more apt to justify helping him pay for a deep tissue massage than to actually get one for myself. I would pay for someone else to get one before paying for myself. He pointed out that with working as many jobs as I do I most certainly can't be hurting for money for the occasional deep tissue massage. He also mentioned that I need to stop worrying about helping out
someone else before I help myself. I will write programs for everyone
else before I worry about my own programming. I will make sure my
lifters are getting what they need before I consider myself. I have a couple of 94s that I'm determined to get qualified for a national level meet, a 77 turned 85 that I want to have a better experience at the American Open this year, and a 58 that I want to have a good experience at her first national level meet. I worry about them well before I worry about what my body, training, etc is going like. I was instructed to stop always worrying about everyone else and justify a little time for myself.
Well after learning the hard way, which is a common theme for me, I now have to classify active release therapy, chiropractic, and a deep tissue as a need. If I don't re-categorize it as a need vs a want, I'm going to keep doing the same insane things time and again and like an idiot expect different results. I want to take weightlifting as far as I possibly can. I'm going to have to put on my big girl pants and realize that, as I have often preached to other, recovery is part of the process of getting better and periodic massages or chiropractic have to be a part of that recovery. I can't keep justifying myself OUT of something I need especially if its something I can afford on occasion.
If there is nothing else to be had from reading my posts, I hope there's at least an occasional cautionary tale in here to learn from. Most of my recommendations to fellow lifters and athletes that I coach are because I have experienced it first hand and don't want them to have to learn the same lesson the hard way. So the moral of the story today is don't justify yourself out of something because you think you don't deserve it. Some times a want IS a need.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
For the Record
For the Record......
Being female and lifting weights doesn't make you butch or masculine. It makes you strong.
Lifting doesn't make women bulky. Females just don't have the right hormone levels to get huge bulk. I'd rather be considered "bigger" because I lift weights and have muscle than bigger cause I have jiggly bits.
"I want Paris Hilton's ass," said no one EVER.
When asked by some female athletes how they get long & lean like me, my answer was and will always be, "Pick up heavy shit."
Spot reduction is a myth. Just because you spent 20 minutes on the inner/outer thigh machine doesn't mean your thighs will no longer touch. It just means you're gonna walk like you rode horse to the gym.
Muscles burn calories. Lifting weight makes muscles work harder. You figure out the rest.....
You can't grow a muffin top without eating a few muffins. And donuts and candy bars and drinking extra large caramel macchiatos....
I have never heard an athlete say, "Gee, I wish I hadn't gotten stronger."
CrossFit didn't invent the exercises it uses nor did it invent the concept of high intensity circuits. It just marketed them better.
You shouldn't model your training after YouTube videos and expect to PR every training session. Just remember nobody posts their shitty days on YouTube, not even Shankle.
No listening to R&B in the weight room. You might as well put on the Best of Elevator Music if you're going to do that. If you wanna lift big kid weights, you need to put on big kid music.
Got your own "For the Record" thoughts? Post 'em to comments or send me a message!
*Update! New "For the Record" thoughts!
Running does NOT take the place of squatting. -Gina
Going past parallel when you squat will NOT "blow out" your knees, what does that even mean anyway?! -Gina
Please don't compare leg pressing to squatting, not even kind of the same thing. -Gina
Being female and lifting weights doesn't make you butch or masculine. It makes you strong.
Lifting doesn't make women bulky. Females just don't have the right hormone levels to get huge bulk. I'd rather be considered "bigger" because I lift weights and have muscle than bigger cause I have jiggly bits.
"I want Paris Hilton's ass," said no one EVER.
When asked by some female athletes how they get long & lean like me, my answer was and will always be, "Pick up heavy shit."
Spot reduction is a myth. Just because you spent 20 minutes on the inner/outer thigh machine doesn't mean your thighs will no longer touch. It just means you're gonna walk like you rode horse to the gym.
Muscles burn calories. Lifting weight makes muscles work harder. You figure out the rest.....
You can't grow a muffin top without eating a few muffins. And donuts and candy bars and drinking extra large caramel macchiatos....
I have never heard an athlete say, "Gee, I wish I hadn't gotten stronger."
CrossFit didn't invent the exercises it uses nor did it invent the concept of high intensity circuits. It just marketed them better.
You shouldn't model your training after YouTube videos and expect to PR every training session. Just remember nobody posts their shitty days on YouTube, not even Shankle.
No listening to R&B in the weight room. You might as well put on the Best of Elevator Music if you're going to do that. If you wanna lift big kid weights, you need to put on big kid music.
Got your own "For the Record" thoughts? Post 'em to comments or send me a message!
*Update! New "For the Record" thoughts!
Running does NOT take the place of squatting. -Gina
Going past parallel when you squat will NOT "blow out" your knees, what does that even mean anyway?! -Gina
Please don't compare leg pressing to squatting, not even kind of the same thing. -Gina
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Operation 180
Operation 180 has been the mission for pretty much the entire year. Initially Operation 180 was strictly a numbers based mission. Snatch 80k, clean & jerk 100k, total 180k. Pretty simple. I've come very close to some of those aspects over the last year. Cleaned 98k in training, clean & jerked 96k in training, and within the last couple of months just barely missed that 80k snatch at the DeGarmo Memorial (video on You win some, you lose some post). My goal has been and continues to be hitting that 180 total by the American Open this December.
However, as it often does, life got in the way. Things happened, things changed, life shifted. Operation 180 just got more complicated. Now not only is it a numbers mission but it's a mission to change physically, mentally, and emotionally about 180-degrees from what I've become lately.
Obviously one of the main components is physical change. The past few weeks my training has been complete and utter shit so I took 10 full days off from training. In terms of strength, speed, and just lifting stamina I feel very behind. I'm feeling rather weak and scrawny which are feelings I'm not particularly fond of. Now I have to gain back some body weight, gain back a lot of strength, get back to pushing for the numbers I made as goals earlier this year (WTF was I doing for the last 7 years?!?!). I have around 7 weeks to really bust my ass, get my ass larger, and get my ass in gear!
While getting my ass in gear is important, it's just as important to get my mind right. I can think and hope and wish and pray that I hit 180 but my mind and emotion have to be behind it. As I mentioned my training has been completely crap and honestly my mental attitude (also my stubbornness) and my emotional attitude towards lifting has been just as much to blame as a decrease in physical performance. I let myself get burned out on weightlifting. I allowed myself to become so consumed by it that it took over my entire life. It was, and still is, a bit obsessive. Being that overtaken by one thing is not a super healthy way to live in my opinion. Because of the obsessive nature of the beast I was fretting over every aspect of my lifting including my declining strength. Being the stubborn ass that I am I kept pushing and pushing and pushing trying to force the lifting which lead me to the next aspect I need to get right......
Emotionally I've been all over the board lately. It's a multi-faceted issue: frustration with my declining performance, a huge inspiration leaving, unexpected setbacks, exhaustion from working so much (I currently technically have 3-4 separate jobs, don't ask, I'm crazy). Many if not all of my recent workouts have ended up in tears. Some times I am able to lift through the tears and do well and other times it's just sitting down on the platform and having a good cry. There has been punting of foam rollers and water bottles, throwing of straps, wraps, and belts. Then of course a hefty amount of swearing and even more frustration since I'm not the type for expressing emotion, let alone in public. To some it may seem like a bit of a temper tantrum, repeated temper tantrums, but truly it runs deeper than that. If you're not emotional about weightlifting then you're not really invested in it yet. And I've gone all-in on weightlifting.
Now with all of that in mind I have to get my emotions under control so they don't railroad my workouts straight into the shitter. If I'm bursting into tears because I can't jerk to save my life that's not going to help. I need to dial back in and refocus that energy into something productive. Get the mind and emotions right so I can put them both into a strong, solid lift.
The next few weeks leading into the American Open are 100% about re-assessing my goals. I have to take my physical, mental, and emotional performances and turn them 180-degrees from what they have been recently. I've wanted to hit the 80k and 100k all year long but I've also wanted to hit some big squats and big deadlifts. Getting stronger there will be steps in the right direction. I have to take where I am (weak and scrawny) and figure out how to get where I want to be (strong like beastess). It's going to be some some big gains in what I feel is a short time. Am I up for the challenge? You're damn right I am!
Operation 180. Turning my training around 180-degrees, hitting 180k at the American Open. It's time to Go Beastess!
However, as it often does, life got in the way. Things happened, things changed, life shifted. Operation 180 just got more complicated. Now not only is it a numbers mission but it's a mission to change physically, mentally, and emotionally about 180-degrees from what I've become lately.
Obviously one of the main components is physical change. The past few weeks my training has been complete and utter shit so I took 10 full days off from training. In terms of strength, speed, and just lifting stamina I feel very behind. I'm feeling rather weak and scrawny which are feelings I'm not particularly fond of. Now I have to gain back some body weight, gain back a lot of strength, get back to pushing for the numbers I made as goals earlier this year (WTF was I doing for the last 7 years?!?!). I have around 7 weeks to really bust my ass, get my ass larger, and get my ass in gear!
While getting my ass in gear is important, it's just as important to get my mind right. I can think and hope and wish and pray that I hit 180 but my mind and emotion have to be behind it. As I mentioned my training has been completely crap and honestly my mental attitude (also my stubbornness) and my emotional attitude towards lifting has been just as much to blame as a decrease in physical performance. I let myself get burned out on weightlifting. I allowed myself to become so consumed by it that it took over my entire life. It was, and still is, a bit obsessive. Being that overtaken by one thing is not a super healthy way to live in my opinion. Because of the obsessive nature of the beast I was fretting over every aspect of my lifting including my declining strength. Being the stubborn ass that I am I kept pushing and pushing and pushing trying to force the lifting which lead me to the next aspect I need to get right......
Emotionally I've been all over the board lately. It's a multi-faceted issue: frustration with my declining performance, a huge inspiration leaving, unexpected setbacks, exhaustion from working so much (I currently technically have 3-4 separate jobs, don't ask, I'm crazy). Many if not all of my recent workouts have ended up in tears. Some times I am able to lift through the tears and do well and other times it's just sitting down on the platform and having a good cry. There has been punting of foam rollers and water bottles, throwing of straps, wraps, and belts. Then of course a hefty amount of swearing and even more frustration since I'm not the type for expressing emotion, let alone in public. To some it may seem like a bit of a temper tantrum, repeated temper tantrums, but truly it runs deeper than that. If you're not emotional about weightlifting then you're not really invested in it yet. And I've gone all-in on weightlifting.
Now with all of that in mind I have to get my emotions under control so they don't railroad my workouts straight into the shitter. If I'm bursting into tears because I can't jerk to save my life that's not going to help. I need to dial back in and refocus that energy into something productive. Get the mind and emotions right so I can put them both into a strong, solid lift.
The next few weeks leading into the American Open are 100% about re-assessing my goals. I have to take my physical, mental, and emotional performances and turn them 180-degrees from what they have been recently. I've wanted to hit the 80k and 100k all year long but I've also wanted to hit some big squats and big deadlifts. Getting stronger there will be steps in the right direction. I have to take where I am (weak and scrawny) and figure out how to get where I want to be (strong like beastess). It's going to be some some big gains in what I feel is a short time. Am I up for the challenge? You're damn right I am!
Operation 180. Turning my training around 180-degrees, hitting 180k at the American Open. It's time to Go Beastess!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
My Refuge
I am awful at processing emotion. Or maybe I don't know how to process it. Or maybe I just don't process it in what I would consider normal fashion. Hell, I've never been to a therapist. What I do know is that my version of processing emotion has always involved sport. For the last 20 years of my life, sport has been my outlet, my refuge.
Growing up whenever I had a hard time I always wanted to go for a walk or go play basketball. When my cousin died during our senior year of high school, after I visited family I went to basketball practice. Nothing else made sense so I did the only thing that did make sense, playing.
Last Christmas I went home to see family for the holidays and the day I got in my brother came to the airport with my dad to surprise me. About an hour later when we were on our way home in separate cars he got in an accident that totaled his truck along with three others and landed him in the hospital for a day and a half. The day he was released from the hospital I went to the gym to lift. A couple of days later he had a seizure and we took him to the ER for an overnight stay. (He's completely happy, healthy, & fine now.) I got home from the holiday trip and the next day when I stepped on that lifting platform all hell broke loose. I lifted with a vengeance, an anger, a complete pouring of all emotion into the lift. I was pushing for weight, for reps, for absolutely anything. I felt like crying the whole time, not because it was hard or because I was hurting, simply because I needed to cry.
I know it sounds extremely selfish to go to practice or go to the gym when I should be with family. It's just how I process things. Even in times where it's not a major emergency, a bad day, a bad mood, upset about anything, I want to get a work out in. It's a physical punishment to process whatever is on my mind. It is my refuge when things get tough.
Lately my refuge has provided no solace. I enter a work out hoping to blow off some frustrations. I step on the platform with high hopes but by the end I leave the platform worse off than when I started. There has honestly not been one single workout in the last few weeks that has not ended up in tears before, during, or after the lifting, or at least a bit teary-eyed. My frustrations have been off the chart and I'm a stubborn girl. I have kept trying to beat the lifting to death, hoping it would finally submit and once again become my refuge. I have often heard the definition of insanity as doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome. Well I have definitely gone off the deep-end in terms of sanity.
I don't know how to "turn off." I don't know how or when to give up. I keep pushing and pushing and pushing until I am broken. I keep going until I end up on the platform in tears, defeated. I have to be told to stop, take a break, take time off. This time around I was told I need to take a week off, step away from the platform, not touch a bar.
It has now been 10 straight days without touching a bar. I can't say its been easy but it has been nice. I also can't say that I was able to completely shut my brain off when it comes to thinking about weightlifting. I did try though.
It is time to get back on that platform and get back to work. I am hopeful that it will all return to normal. I need that platform. I need my refuge, my comfort, my solace.
Growing up whenever I had a hard time I always wanted to go for a walk or go play basketball. When my cousin died during our senior year of high school, after I visited family I went to basketball practice. Nothing else made sense so I did the only thing that did make sense, playing.
Last Christmas I went home to see family for the holidays and the day I got in my brother came to the airport with my dad to surprise me. About an hour later when we were on our way home in separate cars he got in an accident that totaled his truck along with three others and landed him in the hospital for a day and a half. The day he was released from the hospital I went to the gym to lift. A couple of days later he had a seizure and we took him to the ER for an overnight stay. (He's completely happy, healthy, & fine now.) I got home from the holiday trip and the next day when I stepped on that lifting platform all hell broke loose. I lifted with a vengeance, an anger, a complete pouring of all emotion into the lift. I was pushing for weight, for reps, for absolutely anything. I felt like crying the whole time, not because it was hard or because I was hurting, simply because I needed to cry.
I know it sounds extremely selfish to go to practice or go to the gym when I should be with family. It's just how I process things. Even in times where it's not a major emergency, a bad day, a bad mood, upset about anything, I want to get a work out in. It's a physical punishment to process whatever is on my mind. It is my refuge when things get tough.
Lately my refuge has provided no solace. I enter a work out hoping to blow off some frustrations. I step on the platform with high hopes but by the end I leave the platform worse off than when I started. There has honestly not been one single workout in the last few weeks that has not ended up in tears before, during, or after the lifting, or at least a bit teary-eyed. My frustrations have been off the chart and I'm a stubborn girl. I have kept trying to beat the lifting to death, hoping it would finally submit and once again become my refuge. I have often heard the definition of insanity as doing the same things over and over and expecting a different outcome. Well I have definitely gone off the deep-end in terms of sanity.
I don't know how to "turn off." I don't know how or when to give up. I keep pushing and pushing and pushing until I am broken. I keep going until I end up on the platform in tears, defeated. I have to be told to stop, take a break, take time off. This time around I was told I need to take a week off, step away from the platform, not touch a bar.
It has now been 10 straight days without touching a bar. I can't say its been easy but it has been nice. I also can't say that I was able to completely shut my brain off when it comes to thinking about weightlifting. I did try though.
It is time to get back on that platform and get back to work. I am hopeful that it will all return to normal. I need that platform. I need my refuge, my comfort, my solace.
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