-The phrase "low rise" does not enter my fashion vocabulary. Low rise = plumber's crack. On a recent shopping trip I actually told my friend I'd almost prefer some Mom Jeans with a 9-inch comfort zipper. She didn't think that was an advisable fashion choice.
-I love lifting heavy things. That does not translate to mean I would love to lift your couch when you move. However, since I'm a good person I will do it anyway.....if you feed me.
-I drive a big pick-up truck and love it. That also does not translate to mean I would love helping you move. However, I will help you move....if you feed me. Or maybe buy me some gas at the lovely price of one internal organ per gallon of gas.
-I hate shopping for shorts. There are only two options: Softball Coach or Denim Thong.
-I've given up correcting people that call me a powerlifter or a bodybuilder. There's only so many times I can pantomime what I actually do.
-I coach in grunts. It conveys a clearer message.
-Telling me you don't "work the legs" because you run is like saying you'll get rid of your flabby arms by waving in a parade.
-People will do anything for a "free" t-shirt. Even if they already own 14,392 other "free" t-shirts.
-If the weight you're lifting is pink, it probably weighs less than that Sherpa-pack of a purse you lug around all day. Try again.
-Dressed up for me equates to any opportunity I get to wear jeans. Or at least my "nice pair" of yoga capris.
-I want to test drive most of the products on this website: As Seen On TV
